Part 5: That Strong Willed Child & The Challenge of Technology - God’s Guidance for the Nurturing of Our Children

God’s Guidance for the Nurturing of Our Children

Week 5:  That Strong Willed Child & The Challenge of Technology

A.  A Reminder of the Stakes Involved: Download Worksheet

            1.  Eli:  1 Samuel 1:9; 2:12, 17, 22, 27-36; 3:13; 4:17-18

            2.  Abraham:

  • Genesis 18:17-19 And the Lord said, “Shall I hide from Abraham what I am doing, 18 since Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him? 19 For I have known him, in order that he may command his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of the Lord, to do righteousness and justice, that the Lord may bring to Abraham what He has spoken to him.”

            3.  Joshua:

  • Joshua 24:14-15 “Now therefore, fear the Lord, serve Him in sincerity and in truth, and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the River and in Egypt. Serve the Lord! 15 And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

B.  Raising That Difficult Child

            1.  Different children respond differently to your efforts to raise them

  • “The Strong- Willed Child”   “The Fool vs. The Wise”

  • Proverbs 22:15  Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child;
    The rod of correction will drive it far from him.

2.  In some the foolishness is so abundant that they are characterized by the word “Fool”

The Fool as Described in the Book of Proverbs

Fools Despise Instruction

Prov. 1:7   The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.

  15:5   A fool despises his father’s instruction, but he who receives correction is prudent.

17:16 Why is there in the hand of a fool the purchase price of wisdom, since he has no heart for it?

17:24  Wisdom is in the sight of him who has understanding, But the eyes of a fool are on the ends of the earth.

Fools are “Know It All’s”

Prov. 12:15  The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but he who heeds counsel is wise.

 26:12  Do you see a man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.

18:2  A fool has no delight in understanding, but in expressing his own heart.

 29:11  A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back.

29:20  Do you see a man hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.

Fools Do Not Take Rebuke

Prov. 17:10  Rebuke is more effective for a wise man, Than a hundred blows on a fool.

Fools Do Bad Things

Prov. 10:23  To do evil is like sport to a fool, but a man of understanding has wisdom.

 14:16  A wise man fears and departs from evil, but a fool rages and is self-confident.

 18:6-7  A fool’s lips enter into contention, and his mouth calls for blows.
                 7 A fool’s mouth is his destruction, and his lips are the snare of his soul.

 19:1  Better is the poor who walks in his integrity, then one who is perverse in his lips, and is a fool.

Fools Turn Out Bad

Prov. 3:35  The wise shall inherit glory, but shame shall be the legacy of fools.

 13:20  He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will be destroyed.

Fools Are a Grief to Their Parents

Prov. 10:1  A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is the grief of his mother.

15:20  A wise son makes a father glad, but a foolish man despises his mother.

 17:21  He who begets a scoffer does so to his sorrow, And the father of a fool has no joy.

17: 25  A foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her who bore him.

 19:13  A foolish son is the ruin of his father, And the contentions of a wife are a continual dripping.

Discipline Is The Need For Fools

Prov. 22:15  Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him.

If They Grow Up Hardened as Fools …It Is Tragic

Prov. 27:22  Though you grind a fool in a mortar with a pestle along with crushed grain, yet his foolishness will        not depart from him.

C.  Dealing with that Strong-Willed Child

            1.  It will be very difficult

            2.  Apply all that we have studied so far

                        a.  Nothing essentially different

                        b.  Need to be especially vigilant to be consistent

                        c.  Because there will be so much negative: Work hard to be positive

            3.  Guard your heart

                        a.  Against bitterness

  • Hebrews 12:15   looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled;

b.  This is a God ordained trial

  • James 1:2-3   My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.

c.  Resist false guilt

  • Children are responsible to be responders:  Prov. 1:7-9; 2:1ff

  • You will never be a perfect parent: but will try your best and be a good parent

  • Even God had children who rebelled

    • Isaiah 1:2-3 Hear, O heavens, and give ear, O earth! For the Lord has spoken: “I have nourished and brought up children, and they have rebelled against Me; 3 The ox knows its owner and the donkey its master’s crib; But Israel does not know, my people do not consider.”

    • Malachi 1:6a “A son honors his father, and a servant his master.
      If then I am the Father, where is My honor? And if I am a Master,
      Where is My reverence?

D.  Encouragements to Parents Raising that Rambunctious Strong-Willed Child (and most boys)

1.  Recognize that some of these character traits that are hard to deal with in strong-willed (and possibly unregenerate) children will be great assets in believing adults.

a.  Remember you are raising Adults

b. So they are:

  • Not paralyzed by a fear of consequences

  • Not ready to buckle at the knees by threats & warnings from others

  • Have the ability to set their wills and act no matter who opposes them

Helpful Books for Child Rearing:

  • Shepherding a Child’s Heart, by Tedd Tripp

  • Age of Opportunity, by Paul David Tripp

  • Gospel-Powered Parenting, by William Farley

  • The Strong Willed Child; Dare to Discipline; Parenting Isn’t For Cowards, all by Dr. James Dobson

  • Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters; Boys Should Be Boys, both by Meg Meeker

  • A Help to Domestic Happiness, by John Angell James