Part 2: Discipline in Love; Discipline is Love - God’s Guidance for the Nurturing of Our Children

God’s Guidance for the Nurturing of Our Children 

Week 2:  Discipline in Love; Discipline is Love

 

Review:

            “You Are in Charge”

            “My First Word is My Last Word”

            How Do We Get There?

A.  Discipline = Love

            1.  This concept is uncoupled in our society

            2.  The broad view of Discipline:

                        a. Instructive Discipline:  teaching, training, encouraging, coaching, demonstrating, warning, admonishing

  • As broad as life itself

b.  Corrective Discipline:  warning, punishments to correct behavior

            3.  The Bible’s positive view of Corrective Discipline:

  • Hebrews 12:5-11

  • Proverbs 22:6  Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.

  • Proverbs 22:15  Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child;
    The rod of correction will drive it far from him.

  • Proverbs 29:15,17  The rod and rebuke give wisdom,
    But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother

    Correct your son, and he will give you rest;
    Yes, he will give delight to your soul.

  • Proverbs 13:24  He who spares his rod hates his son,
    But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.

  • Proverbs 23:13-14  Do not withhold correction from a child,
    For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die.
    14 You shall beat him with a rod,
    And deliver his soul from hell.

  • Proverbs 19:18  Chasten your son while there is hope,
    And do not set your heart on his destruction.

B.  When to Discipline:

            1.  Instructive Discipline:  All the time, every day, all day and night!!!!

  • Deuteronomy 6:4-9  “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! 5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. 6 “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

2.  Corrective Discipline:

            1.  When faced with Direct Defiance

            2.  When faced with Indirect, Subtle Defiance

            3.  As a result of Failed Corrective Discipline

3.  When to Extend Grace

            a.  When the child is tired, hungry, discouraged, frustrated about something (not you)

            b.  When the child is simply living out their age

  • When your expectations are beyond the child’s ability or age

4.  When Not to Discipline:   Out of Anger or Frustration

            a.  Discipline out of Love…out of Principle

            b.  Treat our children as God treats us…our model is our Heavenly Father

C.  How to Discipline

            1.  Consistently

            2.  Your Form of Discipline should be Effective

                        a.  Uncomfortable…unwanted…”painful”

  • Heb. 12:11 Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

b.  The child should see the corrected behavior as a better choice than the consequences of discipline

            3.  Which Form:  Depends on the Severity of the Defiance & the Personality/Age of the Child

                        a.  Severity of the Defiance

                        b.  Personality

  • Proverbs 17:10  Rebuke is more effective for a wise man
    Than a hundred blows on a fool.

c.  Age

            4.  Never Abusive

            5.  What About Spanking?

            6.  All discipline is most effective when the overall climate of the home is love, joy, closeness.